Something Worth Mentioning

Finally, I have something worth mentioning!  I have my NT scan and second OB appointment next week.  I can’t wait!  Six weeks (since our last u/s) is a long time to go without knowing if the baby is okay, and four weeks (since my last OB visit) is a long time to wait without talking to a doctor.  I am so excited to get to see our baby again. 

We’re hoping and praying for a great appointment with good test results.  If everything looks normal, we’ll be formally announcing our pregnancy very soon!

Mentally Exhausted

I was expecting, and ready for, the physical exhaustion that comes along with pregnancy.  I’ve had sleep issues for awhile now, and I regularly function on very little sleep.  I have also learned to take advantage of my daily routine and circadian rhythm in order to schedule the best times to relax when I need to rest.  The demands of growing a baby human have definitely taken their toll on my body, but I like to think that I’ve coped pretty well.  However, I was not prepared for the mental exhaustion.

Right now, I’m working full time, in addition to going to school.  I work a regular 8 to 5, Monday through Friday job, that is actually relatively easy and undemanding.  But then, I’m also taking 2 courses for my Masters degree.  Luckily, these are my last 2 classes before I graduate in June, but the stress of working, going to school, getting ready for graduation, and being pregnant is starting to wear on me.  I literally have no motivation to do anything, let alone anything productive or worthy of grad school submission. 

I’m really hoping that the second trimester is as great as everyone keeps saying, because I’m going to need all the help I can get to finish my degree at this rate.      

To Tell or Not To Tell

That is the question.  I always knew that my husband and I would have different approaches to certain aspects of childrearing, but I never guessed it would start this early.  For obvious reasons, I wanted to keep my pregnancy a secret at first, and just between me and him.  However, I was easily persuaded into telling each of our best friends.  But, I was adamant about telling no one else until after my prenatal appointment, and only then telling our parents.  The rest of the world, starting with family, could be told after the first trimester was over. 

But then, we had an early ultrasound, and my husband was convinced that it was then okay to tell his parents.  I still wasn’t ready to tell, but I didn’t want his parents to know and not mine.  So, the count was up to 6 people who knew.  And, my husband’s mother was with his grandma when she found out, so now his grandma knows, too.  Then came a few too many awkward conversations about not drinking, not eating sushi, and not going to a smoke-filled bar with one of our couple friends, so my husband decided that they should know.  Finally, I confided in my other two close friends, since so many other relatively less important people had found out.  It’s seriously snowballing out of control, and I thought this would be one of the few things I could control.  I think that we’re probably up to about 15 people that know about the baby now.

I completely understand that my husband is absolutely ecstatic over the news and that he wants to shout it from the rooftop.  And I sincerely hope that there’s never a reason to take that away from him.  But, I’m just trying to be more cautious and more practical out of a personal need for self-preservation.  The second trimester cannot come soon enough…I’m ready to fully embrace this pregnancy and let everyone know about our miracle!

Just Waiting

Since our prenatal appointment, it feels like I’m just waiting.  Waiting for something…to feel more pregnant, to get more symptoms, to look like I’m expecting, to go to my next ultrasound.  The period of time between seeing the baby for the first time and seeing the baby for the second time seems interminable.  Our next ultrasound is not until our NT scan at 12.5 weeks, which is 6 weeks since we saw the baby the first time.  Because we had our first ultrasound so early, I was able to put my initial fears to rest regarding actually being pregnant.  Now that one worry is over, I’m concerned about whether the baby is developing properly and if everything is okay.  I’m pretty sure that’s what being a mother is all about, though:  worrying about your child from the moment of conception until the day you die.   

First Prenatal Appointment

Back in December, I had made my annual gynecology appointment for February, since it would have been a year since my last one.  When we got our surprise BFP in January, my Ob/Gyn just converted my annual appointment into an obstetrics appointment.  So, I was able to get my first ultrasound at the end of January when I was 6 weeks, 4 days, and then have my first OB prenatal appointment the very next week at 7 weeks, 5 days. 

After the joy of the ultrasound and getting to both see our tiny baby and hear its heartbeat, the prenatal appointment was a little anticlimactic.  I had already had my blood work completed after my ultrasound, so we went over my results.  I had a routine pap and pelvic done, a urinalysis, and a breast exam.  Other than that, the majority of the appointment was just getting to know the procedures and policies of the clinic, discussing options and available testing, and asking questions. 

I opted for the NT Scan and the Quad Marker screen when applicable, but against the CVS, Amniocentesis, and Cystic Fibrosis testing.  So, since I was almost at 8 weeks, I have my NT scan scheduled at the same time as my next OB appointment, which is at 12.5 weeks.  I also wanted to evaluate whether or not to use the clinic’s midwife services, so I will be meeting with a midwife rather than the OB after my NT scan. 

All in all, the appointment went well.  Even though I didn’t get to see or hear the baby, my doctor said that everything seems normal.  Still hoping and praying for this to be our sticky baby!     

Should I Fire My Physician?

I’m not talking about my Ob/Gyn, because I seriously love her.  But, I’m beginning to think that my primary physician isn’t really a good fit for me.  I never developed a close relationship with him, because I was never sick and hardly ever went to the doctor.  Although, the few times I’ve seen him, he’s been nice and professional.

The main problem is that my husband and I have been dealing with numerous specialists over the last few years, and I’ve gotten a better feel for the type of care that I want.  I’ve come to realize that there are some doctors that I respect and feel comfortable with, and there are some that I don’t.  Armed with this newly developed sense of patient advocacy, I’m starting to doubt my choice in physicians. 

My primary physician is a more reactive doctor.  He’s smart and knowledgeable, but he reacts only to a known or suspected problem.  He can also seem too technical, and sometimes I wonder if he bypasses some of my concerns as “internet research.”  My Ob/Gyn, on the other hand, is a very proactive doctor.  She takes the time to listen to my questions, always returns my calls herself, and makes me feel in control of my health.  In fact, she’s the one who discovered my Hashimoto’s disease.  As an Ob/Gyn though, she does not treat that condition, so my primary doctor took over.

It’s his care and treatment of my hypothyroidism that is making me scrutinize him more closely now.  He was relatively casual about my thyroid results from the Ob/Gyn; he just prescribed Levothyroxine and told me to get my TSH checked again in a month.  My thyroid responded, and my TSH levels were pretty close to normal when they were rechecked.  It was about a month later that I got my BFP. 

So, I was a little concerned that my levels weren’t regulated for that long, and that they had only been monitored once before I got pregnant.  But, when I called to get my TSH checked again in light of being pregnant (when I was 5 weeks), he said not to worry about it until I was 8 weeks along.  Knowing that hypothyroidism can cause miscarriage if not treated properly, should I really have been expected to wait 3 more weeks to find out if my TSH levels were okay?        

We Saw It!

We had our first ultrasound this week, at 6 weeks and 3 days.  I’m so lucky to have an amazing doctor who allowed us to have one done so early.  The ultrasound technician warned that it might be too early to really see anything on an external scan, but she found our little baby right away!  The baby and I are measuring right on track, and our little one had a heartbeat of 123, which is just perfect for 6-7 weeks.  My husband and I were in such awe that we both had tears in our eyes when we were able to hear it for the first time. 

Seeing the proof that there was actually a tiny baby in me, and that it has a heartbeat, did a lot to ease my fears.  I can only hope that everything continues to progress as wonderfully as it has so far.  We are just so overwhelmed with love and truly thankful for this amazing blessing.