Sigh of Relief

We had our NT scan the other day, at 12 weeks and 2 days.  I was so nervous going into the appointment, but was trying to remain calm and optimistic.  As soon as the ultrasound tech showed my baby moving on the screen, I gave a huge sigh of relief.  Baby’s heart rate was 173 beautiful beats per minute.  I feel like a huge weight has been lifted after this appointment. 

In addition to everything looking okay, the NT measurements came out great, as well.  The NT thickness turned out to be really close to 1, like 1.13.  So, both the tech and the doctor said that was wonderful and definitely nothing to worry about in terms of Downs Syndrome. 

Getting to see my baby moving around on screen and being generally uncooperative for the tech was one of the best days of my life.  I’m just so incredibly thankful that the baby seems happy and healthy so far.  Plus, we got 4 pictures to take home with us.  I also found out that I have an anterior placenta, and that it’s sitting in the top-front of my uterus.  And, that baby really enjoys hiding under it, which is why I’ve had so much trouble finding the heart beat with my fetal doppler.  This also means that I may have to wait a few weeks longer than other women in order to feel the baby move. 

There was also a blood work component to the NT scan, but I won’t find out those results until the next appointment.  Since all is well, my pregnancy is no longer a secret.  While I haven’t told my job or made a Facebook announcement yet, my husband and I are now starting to share the news with the rest of our friends and family (who haven’t already been told).  The rest of the world won’t be far behind!

Fetal Doppler

So I forgot to mention that I ordered a fetal doppler.  I never thought that I would, but after having so much anxiety over this pregnancy, and knowing so many wonderful people that have had miscarriages, I just really wanted the extra assurance.  I received it in the mail when I was 10 weeks, and I immediately tried it out.  At first, all I could get was my heart rate, but I did hear fluid moving.  Finally, I had a few blips on the screen between 160 and 180 bpm. 

I tried again at 11 weeks, and both times I tried, I wasn’t able to pick up a heart beat.  This is the downside of owning a home doppler:  (hopefully) unnecessary panic.  I knew that it was still early, and just because I thought I had heard the baby’s heart rate before, doesn’t mean that I could hear it this time.  So, I had to just believe that everything was still okay.

Finally, at 12 weeks, I tried again.  Like the first time, I had trouble finding it, but I eventually saw the flashes in the 170s and knew that there was still a baby in there.  I’ve never been able to hear the heart beat for more than 2 or 3 beats, but I trust that it’s okay.  I honestly think that the baby doesn’t like the sound waves and that he/she moves away from it.  Either way, I’m so glad to have the NT scan to calm my nerves very soon! 

Something Worth Mentioning

Finally, I have something worth mentioning!  I have my NT scan and second OB appointment next week.  I can’t wait!  Six weeks (since our last u/s) is a long time to go without knowing if the baby is okay, and four weeks (since my last OB visit) is a long time to wait without talking to a doctor.  I am so excited to get to see our baby again. 

We’re hoping and praying for a great appointment with good test results.  If everything looks normal, we’ll be formally announcing our pregnancy very soon!

Mentally Exhausted

I was expecting, and ready for, the physical exhaustion that comes along with pregnancy.  I’ve had sleep issues for awhile now, and I regularly function on very little sleep.  I have also learned to take advantage of my daily routine and circadian rhythm in order to schedule the best times to relax when I need to rest.  The demands of growing a baby human have definitely taken their toll on my body, but I like to think that I’ve coped pretty well.  However, I was not prepared for the mental exhaustion.

Right now, I’m working full time, in addition to going to school.  I work a regular 8 to 5, Monday through Friday job, that is actually relatively easy and undemanding.  But then, I’m also taking 2 courses for my Masters degree.  Luckily, these are my last 2 classes before I graduate in June, but the stress of working, going to school, getting ready for graduation, and being pregnant is starting to wear on me.  I literally have no motivation to do anything, let alone anything productive or worthy of grad school submission. 

I’m really hoping that the second trimester is as great as everyone keeps saying, because I’m going to need all the help I can get to finish my degree at this rate.      

To Tell or Not To Tell

That is the question.  I always knew that my husband and I would have different approaches to certain aspects of childrearing, but I never guessed it would start this early.  For obvious reasons, I wanted to keep my pregnancy a secret at first, and just between me and him.  However, I was easily persuaded into telling each of our best friends.  But, I was adamant about telling no one else until after my prenatal appointment, and only then telling our parents.  The rest of the world, starting with family, could be told after the first trimester was over. 

But then, we had an early ultrasound, and my husband was convinced that it was then okay to tell his parents.  I still wasn’t ready to tell, but I didn’t want his parents to know and not mine.  So, the count was up to 6 people who knew.  And, my husband’s mother was with his grandma when she found out, so now his grandma knows, too.  Then came a few too many awkward conversations about not drinking, not eating sushi, and not going to a smoke-filled bar with one of our couple friends, so my husband decided that they should know.  Finally, I confided in my other two close friends, since so many other relatively less important people had found out.  It’s seriously snowballing out of control, and I thought this would be one of the few things I could control.  I think that we’re probably up to about 15 people that know about the baby now.

I completely understand that my husband is absolutely ecstatic over the news and that he wants to shout it from the rooftop.  And I sincerely hope that there’s never a reason to take that away from him.  But, I’m just trying to be more cautious and more practical out of a personal need for self-preservation.  The second trimester cannot come soon enough…I’m ready to fully embrace this pregnancy and let everyone know about our miracle!

Just Waiting

Since our prenatal appointment, it feels like I’m just waiting.  Waiting for something…to feel more pregnant, to get more symptoms, to look like I’m expecting, to go to my next ultrasound.  The period of time between seeing the baby for the first time and seeing the baby for the second time seems interminable.  Our next ultrasound is not until our NT scan at 12.5 weeks, which is 6 weeks since we saw the baby the first time.  Because we had our first ultrasound so early, I was able to put my initial fears to rest regarding actually being pregnant.  Now that one worry is over, I’m concerned about whether the baby is developing properly and if everything is okay.  I’m pretty sure that’s what being a mother is all about, though:  worrying about your child from the moment of conception until the day you die.   

First Prenatal Appointment

Back in December, I had made my annual gynecology appointment for February, since it would have been a year since my last one.  When we got our surprise BFP in January, my Ob/Gyn just converted my annual appointment into an obstetrics appointment.  So, I was able to get my first ultrasound at the end of January when I was 6 weeks, 4 days, and then have my first OB prenatal appointment the very next week at 7 weeks, 5 days. 

After the joy of the ultrasound and getting to both see our tiny baby and hear its heartbeat, the prenatal appointment was a little anticlimactic.  I had already had my blood work completed after my ultrasound, so we went over my results.  I had a routine pap and pelvic done, a urinalysis, and a breast exam.  Other than that, the majority of the appointment was just getting to know the procedures and policies of the clinic, discussing options and available testing, and asking questions. 

I opted for the NT Scan and the Quad Marker screen when applicable, but against the CVS, Amniocentesis, and Cystic Fibrosis testing.  So, since I was almost at 8 weeks, I have my NT scan scheduled at the same time as my next OB appointment, which is at 12.5 weeks.  I also wanted to evaluate whether or not to use the clinic’s midwife services, so I will be meeting with a midwife rather than the OB after my NT scan. 

All in all, the appointment went well.  Even though I didn’t get to see or hear the baby, my doctor said that everything seems normal.  Still hoping and praying for this to be our sticky baby!